When Blessings Come Incognito

I was visiting recently with a friend who asked why she was faced with so many challenges, and if perhaps God had abandoned her. It is true she has a lot of difficulties. She has gone though a nasty divorce, has struggles with her children and deals daily with severe physical limitations.

However, I have seen God's hand so often in the small details of my life, I know God will never abandon us during our biggest trials. And so I wondered how often our blessings might come incognito. They are there, we just aren't seeing them.

In thinking about this, the two following stories came to my mind:

When Lehi and his family (from the Book of Mormon) were told to leave Jerusalem in search of a promised land or be destroyed, they all left behind their riches and their comforts of home and headed off into the desert--where they lived for eight years.

Truthfully, camping one night for me is torture. Living for eight years wandering in the desert, sleeping in tents, being deprived of hot running water and eating raw meat (1 Ne 17:2) would be a HUGE trial! I totally get why Laman and Lemuel murmured!

Yet Nephi writes, "So great were the blessings of the Lord upon us . . . " In the midst of his affliction, he found the blessings. They may have been hidden (after all his brothers never found them) but they were there. They were strengthened, fed and guided by the Lord all through their journey. Their trials were numerous, as Lehi often referred to this time as the "wilderness of my affliction" but still, the Lord was there.

Never at any time were they abandoned, although there were times when some of them abandoned God.

Another story I have always gotten a chuckle from is the story of Elijah. He calls down a famine upon the people and then is told by the Lord to hide himself by a brook where he could obtain water and the Lord would provide the rest of his food.

So, then how did the prophet of the Lord eat? Did he eat off the "fat of the land" or in the style to which he was accustomed? No, he ate bread and meat delivered by the ravens morning and night. So I looked up what ravens would be most likely to bring and this is what I found.

"Most ravens eat the dead bodies of other animals. Ravens generally eat some fruit, berries and grains when they are available. They will eat any small animals, small birds and small reptiles that they can find. Ravens even eat maggots and animal poo. Ravens eat anything that is easy to catch!"

I am not sure if this is the type of food Elijah received or if the birds brought him something a bit more palatable, but the idea of living alone in the desert, eating road kill, once again does not sound like a blessing to me.

Yet, just like Nephi, Elijah was guided, nourished and protected until the Lord saw fit to send him elsewhere.

I wonder if perhaps we have the wrong idea about life. I know there are times when I think living the commandments entitles me immediately to the blessings I desire--a roof over my head, food to eat, health, and a happy family life. Yet, that is so often not the case for many righteous people. And when our worlds seem to fall apart, our health or families fail us, we cry out wondering why this has happened to us, and why God does not bless us with those things we deserve.

Raw meat and raven deliveries might not at first seem like great blessings for Nephi and Elijah as well, but they both were. Elijah would have starved with out the food the ravens brought and Nephi and his family were probably being protected by unsavory travelers who might have seen the smoke from the fire they used to cook their meat.

And so I have come to believe that during our darkest days, God will always nourish, strengthen and guide. We may just have to look a little harder to notice it.

And that thought brings great . . . joy to my journey.

If I could go back in time to do one thing over . . .

While visiting with friends recently someone asked the question, “If you could go back in time and do one thing differently, what would it be?”

My answer was that I would be more patient with my children when they were tiny instead of getting upset over little things. And that is true. I really do wish I had been as patient then as I am now, as I think it would have saved us all some grief.

But the truth is, given the chance, there is something else I would do.

I would be nice to Marta.

Marta was a little 8-year-old girl with a congenital heart defect from Nicaragua, who came to live with us while awaiting heart surgery.

And she drove me crazy.

I was 12 at the time and found her very irritating. She would follow me around during the day, would often get into my things, and at dinner time would hurry and sit in my seat. I was convinced her bothersome behavior was intentionally planned to bug me.

So I tried to avoid her, got after her for playing with my things and even gave her a dirty look under the table before family prayer when once again she stole my seat.

But after she went into the hospital, I began to feel bad for the way I treated her. I realized she was young and far from home in a country where she didn’t even speak the language. She had to be very lonely and also very scared.

I decided that when she came back to stay with us during her recovery, I would be the friend I should have been in the beginning.

But I never got the chance to apologize. I never got the chance to make her feel welcome.

Marta died on the operating table.

I think it would be hard for anyone to imagine the guilt I carried with me for many years after that. I thought often of the little lonely girl, so far away from her family, so afraid and treated so unkindly.

So if I could go back in time to do something differently than I did before, I would be nice to Marta. At least then, during her last week on earth, she would have had a friend.

Letters to Lisa--or the random happenings of my life

I haven't written on my blog very much lately. I think perhaps it is because when you only write once a week or less, you feel what you say has to be profound, and absent a profound thought, you just don't write.

But I was sending an email to my friend Lisa, and noticed how easily words come when I am writing her. They still lack profundity, but at least they come easily. :-) So I decided to just post a few of the things I write her. . . .

In a desperate measure to find clothes that fit, (I am going on a trip in a few weeks and need some clothes for it) I went shopping at the mall today--something I usually try to avoid, especially during spring break. That is when I discovered that men's shirts are much cuter than women's. I was in the ladies section at Penney's and everything was black, tan and white. I went to the men's and they had all these purple and pink shirts. Seriously. What is happening in our culture when men's clothes are cuter than the women's?!! Although, now I am thinking about going back and buying a couple of those shirts. Really.

I also learned today that I am addicted to sugar and cinnamon coated almonds. I received a package of them as a gift. I was going to save them for an upcoming trip, but instead made the mistake of opening the package for just a taste. Now I have to hide them at the top and back of my cupboard so I won't eat them all. But I realized there "ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no river wide enough"--to keep me from eating them. I am as bad as Wes with potato chips.

But the biggest event of my day today is that my mother had a surgical procedure this morning. It is just one more medical treatment in a long line of treatments that she is supposed to have regularly. But the last time it was done, she was in so much pain afterward, she did not want to do it again. However, she finally gave in and scheduled it.

I was so worried about her that I didn't sleep much last night and stayed by my phone all morning until my father called me with the news that all was well. I am so amazed at my mother. I had a stiff neck for a couple days and was ready to call it a good life and move on to the next, rather than continue with my suffering. :-) And yet my mother suffers greatly every single day and manages to still have a good attitude about life. I honestly do not know how she does it. She is truly amazing. But I really hope my future does not hold the same kind of physical suffering she has had to experience. Although with the way my hips hurt all the time, I am afraid it does. . . . Ahhh aging. As they say, "It isn't for sissies."

Lastly--it appears the sister missionaries are going to move into our house. I was talking with them a few weeks ago when it occurred to me that we have all this empty space in our basement and since neither of my college daughters are planning on coming home this summer, the house will stay empty. So, why not fill it up with missionaries, right? :-) I am very excited about it actually.

So that is the latest from our house . . . not overly exciting, and certainly not profound, but just enough good to bring . . . joy to our journey.

Parenting Tips From Our Conference Visitor

We had our stake conference yesterday and Elder Ballard from the Quorum of the Twelve and Elder David LeSueur, an area authority from Mesa, addressed us. I loved both their talks--on both days---but particularly wanted so share a few stories/insights from Elder LeSueur. I am not printing up the notes in detail, this is just my summary of his thoughts, comments and advice.

Enjoy!

1. It is the role of parents to introduce their children to the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost introduces them to the Savior and the Savior leads them back to the Father.

Therefore, we must create an environment in our home that invites the Spirit. Wise parents will be careful what music is played, what movies are watched and what TV is allowed, etc.

2. The role of parents is not to raise children to adulthood, but rather to raise them to righteous Parenthood.

He then added a saying he likes, “If you want to know what kind of parents you have been, don’t look at your children, look at your grandchildren.” (If your grandchildren turn out well, then you know you raised your children to righteous parenthood.)

3.We should work 10 times harder to find our kids doing something right than doing something wrong, and then celebrate it. When our kids do something good and we celebrate it, we are not only strengthening that positive behavior, but we are also building their self worth. And later in life when temptations come—as they will—their knowledge of their importance in their family and to their Heavenly Father will strengthen them against the temptation.

4. When we read the scriptures we should not do it for mileage, nor for scholarship (as in we don’t have to be smarter than anyone else). We should do it for discipleship. We need to ask ourselves, what am I supposed to learn? How am I supposed to apply it? How will it change my life?

5. Counsel he received before getting married, “You can be right, or you can be happy.” He said he had no idea what that meant initially, but after being married he did. He commented that the only times he has been unhappy in his marriage is when he was insisting on being right.

He further counseled that we shouldn’t turn 50 cent issues into million dollar ones and then quoted an African saying, “When two elephants fight—the grass always loses".

6.He told a story of having breakfast with his five year old grandson. He was in a hurry to get to work on the farm, but his grandson was eating very slowly. In an effort to speed him up, Elder LeSueur said, “Did you know that it is impossible for a five year old boy to finish his breakfast before his grandfather?” The little boy then looked up at him and said, “Papa!! We are on the same team!.” And so we should be in our marriage—united, and on the same team, rather than in competition with each other.

7.His last bit of advice was that in marriage as long as you are focused on your needs, they will never be met. It is when we forget our needs and focus on the needs of our spouse that our needs will be filled in a much sweeter way than we ever imagined.

The Cheering Section

At my daughter's recent basketball game, the star was playing with a 102 degree fever, the center had been feeling sick all day, and for whatever reason, Michelle was a bit sluggish.

I noticed she was running slower than usual, and her reactions were a bit delayed, but it still bothered me when a man a few rows down started yelling “Michelle!! Get the lead out!” I wondered who this man was and what made him think he could yell at my daughter.

And that wasn’t the only thing he said. He had other corrections for her as well. She should have gotten the rebound, she should have stolen the ball, her passing should have been better, etc., etc. I noticed Michelle glancing up at him while she played and I grew irritated with his yelling.

Then I noticed something else. He wasn’t the only one yelling at her. There were others who would yell, “Good job, Michelle!” when she scored. There was a group of men at the top of the bleachers yelling to the ref to watch the throwing elbows of the girl guarding my daughter, and there were those who would yell, “Nice try, Michelle!” when she would attempt to steal the ball and fail, or shoot a free throw and miss.

I realized that with just a few exceptions, I didn’t know any of these people.

It struck me how people I didn’t even know were cheering for Michelle by name, offering suggestions on how to improve, and buoying her up when she failed. I began to think about all the school teachers she has had, all the coaches, friends, and church leaders who have cheered her along from the bleachers of her life, and I wondered how many others there were who I had never known.

And my heart swelled with gratitude for their love and concern.

Then, in my mind, I saw numberless people beyond the veil, watching, prodding, and cheering. I could hear them say, “Come on Michelle, get the lead out!”, “You can do it, Michelle”, and “Good job! That’s the way!”

And tears welled up in my eyes.

How grateful I am to know that through out the day, there are many people, some I know, and many I don’t, some on this side of the veil, and some on the other, who want to see my daughter succeed and are cheering her on.

How grateful I am for cheering sections!

10 Things I learned about myself this past week

Here are a few random things I learned about myself and my life this past week.

1. 1. 1. I can have all the resolutions I want, but nothing is going to happen unless I have a plan and work that plan.

2. 2. 2. I can waste a lot of time on the computer.

3. 3. 3. I absolutely love my church calling teaching the 16/17 year olds in SS. I truly think someone in Heaven loves me.

4. 4. 4. I LOVE a full house. Whether it is all my kids home, or Michelle and all of her friends hanging out. Having a house filled with people warms my heart.

5. 5. 5. I don’t do well the first week all my kids go back to school. Can you say DEPRESSION?

6. 6. 6. The birth of a grandbaby brings out all your maternal instincts. You want to cuddle him, feed him, take him home. And of course you know so much more than the parents and so you want to tell them how to do everything. BUT . . . the best thing you can do is give them a little space, bite your tongue and say “Good job!!” Eventually they will figure it all out. After all, our kids survived us.

7. 7. 7. When it comes to the different love languages, mine is definitely TIME. Nothing says love to me more than having someone make time to be with me. And nothing says “I don’t care about you” more, than when someone is always “too busy”.

8. 8. 8. That said . . . date nights with my husband, going out on weekends with friends and lunches with girlfriends are some of my most cherished activities.

9. 9. 9. I loved my life when all I had was pre-school children. All my friends were the same age and we spent our time with play dates, FHE groups, American Mother’s Association, Joy School etc. I was positive life would never get better.

Then the kids got older and could care for themselves. We had a little more money and a lot more freedom and our weeks were spent attending school activities, helping with homework and weekend dates where we didn’t have to pay a babysitter. I loved my life and was positive it would never get better.

But I decided the other day that I am in the very best phase of life right now. With Michelle home, we still spend our weeks at school activities, (basketball games) but we also get to play with grandchildren without the responsibility of raising them, can travel, have fairly good health, I am not wasting any effort trying to measure up to someone else, and I no longer care if company shows up and my house isn’t clean. I am absolutely positive life can't get any better, which I guess means . . . it is all down hill from here.:-).

10. The best part of trying to incorporate a healthy lifestyle is exercising with friends. The worst part—by far—is the lack of rich, creamy chocolate!!!

A whole lot of this and a little of that . . . .and that . . .

I had plans to blog more last week.

But life got in the way.


And a whole lot of worry.


My daughter in law was in the hospital for two days. She is 20 weeks pregnant with a little baby boy. We are so excited for the baby to come we can hardly stand the wait. But this past week she developed some health issues, unrelated to the pregnancy, and that has had us all worrying and praying a little more fervently as she cannot be treated until after the baby is born. I think the next four months are going to be very long ones.

But there have been some positives as well.

Yesterday our stake had a special meeting (it was not stake conference) and Elder Richard Hinckley of the First Quorum of Seventy presided. It was fun to have him visit. He told several stories about growing up with his father and lessons he learned from him.

One of my favorites was he told how soon before President Hinckley passed away he performed a sealing for one of his grandchildren. There at the sealing, President Hinckley commented that he just realized he had performed the sealings for all five of his children and all of his grandchildren. He went on to say that he felt having his family all sealed together was his greatest accomplishment. Elder Hinckley emphasized that his father had accomplished a lot during his many years of church service, including the unprecedented building of temples, yet having his family all sealed is what he thought was the best thing he ever did. I loved that.

Another story he told was about Mike Wallace and the 60 Minutes interview. He said Wallace was amazed when he learned about the missionary program and especially how mission presidents were called. He asked President Hinckley how the church was able to get men, many in the prime of their careers, to give up their jobs, or put their career on hold, and leave their families to serve for three years. President Hinckley answered, "We ask them." I got a kick out of that. So simple, yet so true.

It was a great meeting and I feel so blessed we were able to have him speak to us. He was in town for training meetings with the bishops and stake presidency and stayed over an extra day to speak to our stake as well. What a great blessing that was!!

And lastly . . . Here are a few pictures from our ward activity a week ago. We had a competition between the men and the women in fashion design, musical performance and coordination skills. It was a ton of fun!! And we were amazed at the talent in our ward!

This first picture was fashion design. Don't you just love the outfits?!

This was one of the coordination challenges. They had to keep three balloons in the air for one minute.

And lastly here is musical performance. This is one of the groups of women.

And here is a group of the men. Too funny. And cute legs. :-)

Yes I Can!! (Three Short Stories)

1. When our oldest daughter Camille was about three years old, my husband and I went to Dairy Queen to buy blizzards. We ordered mediums for the two of us and a small for Camille. My husband suggested we get her a medium as well (he wasn't thinking what would be best for her health, but rather what she would enjoy). I said to him, "She can't eat that much". From the back of the car we heard a very emphatic, "Yes. I. Can!" And she did.

We laughed at the bold determination of a small child. She was not going to be told what she could or couldn't do, but rather make that decision herself. And the stubbornness that was exhibited then has continued with her and has been put to good use.

2. Today is my brother's birthday and so my next story is about him. Mark received a mission call to Japan and therefore, obviously, needed to learn Japanese--a rather difficult language. While in the MTC he struggled with even the basics. After a short time one of his teachers suggested Mark talk to the MTC President about getting his mission call changed to an English speaking mission.

Mark's response to being told he couldn't do it? He just thought, "Yes I can". And he did. With a great deal of hard work and prayer, Mark learned the language well and later served as an assistant to his mission president.

3. When my daughter Kristen was in 5th grade, she wanted to play the flute in the school band. So she borrowed her older sister's flute and began attending band class. By the end of the first semester all she could play was a B flat. Luckily she could read music so she always knew when the note was coming so she could play it with everyone else. By the end of the year she could finally play a scale.

Also at the end of the year her teacher made two observations which he shared with her. The first was that she played the flute like a fish. The second was that she would never learn to play the flute well and should therefore consider playing another instrument that didn't require as much talent--like the drums (his suggestion).

So what was Kristen's response when told she would never learn to play the flute? She thought, "Yes I can." And she did. Kristen continued practicing and in both 7th and 8th grade was not only first chair, but also earned All State Honors.

So what is the moral of my stories?

Don't ever let anyone tell you, you can't do something, because chances are, you can!

I'm Exhausted!

Okay, so not nearly as exhausted as last year at this time, when I was also teaching seminary, but I am tired nonetheless.

I made a personal commitment to make breakfast for Michelle every morning before seminary, which means I get up at 5:15. I love mornings, and in the past got up at 4:30, so 5:15 really wouldn’t be a problem, except that Kathryn is not in school yet and therefore still operating on a summer schedule.

Translated . . . that means she has been out until early hours of the morning with her friends. Which also means I stay awake waiting for her to come home.

Yes, I know she will be 20 in a couple weeks. And yes I know she lived away from home all last year where she was out late nearly every night. Still, when she is living at home, I wait.

It started with a promise I made to myself many years ago. I was in my early 20’s and visiting with a young man who told me he often went home at night drunk, but his parents were always asleep so they never knew.

At that moment I decided I would always wait up for my kids so they would have to look me in the eyes and tell me about their night. And now, many years later, I have lived through many sleepless nights waiting for a child to walk through the back door. There were times I was so tired I would go to bed and set an alarm for ten minutes before curfew, and there have been many times my husband and I have taken turns, but every time the kids were out, they knew they would have to face one or both of their parents upon their return.

Although the decision has been tiring at times, it has also been worth it.

One of my greatest blessings has been some of the late night/early morning talks with my children. I found they are much more willing to give details the moment they walk in the door, than they are the next morning. This was especially true for my son. Ryan has never been one to share a lot with me. However, for some reason, he would become very talkative around 1 in the morning. By 2 I would be struggling to stay awake and suggesting we continue our conversation in the morning, to which he would always reply, “What kind of a mother does not want to talk with her teenage son when he wants to talk with her?” And so, guilt applied, I would stay up.

But there are other more important reasons I am glad for the decision. There was one night when a child came home and wouldn’t look me in the eyes. And there was another when a child broke into tears as she shared with me a bad choice a friend had made.

At those moments, I was so very grateful for that day many years ago when the young man shared with me his story. At that time I could not have even begun to comprehend how his story would affect my life . . . and how it would help protect my children.

And so for at least this week and next, while Kat is still home, I will probably be burning the proverbial candle at both ends. But sometimes, being really tired is worth it, because sometimes what may make us tired, may also bring . . . joy to our journey.

One Fine Day . . .

I had a wonderful day on Tuesday.

I got up and worked on my to-do list until noon when I left to meet my friend Susan for lunch. Susan is my walking partner, but between her summer vacations and mine, we haven't seen each other very much. And after talking for one hour every morning for two years, not visiting for over a month meant we had a lot to catch up on.

So we skipped the exercise and went to Babbo's, a wonderfully delicious Italian restaurant, where I enjoyed chicken limone while we chatted for a very long time.

In the evening Ryan (my son) and Kali (DIL) came over for dinner and swimming. We had such a great time out in the pool. The kids all raced in a variety of swim strokes where Ryan was declared the winner--much to his delight. Wes won the holding-your-breath-while-swimming contest--making it four lengths of the pool before coming up for air. And Kali and I --not being the best of swimmers, but still enjoying the cool water after a very hot day--cheered them all on to victory.

And then Kathryn brought out warm and deliciously, wonderful chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven---that we all ate while still in the pool.

I think I spend most of my life in a rush. I like being like that, actually. I am happiest when I am busy and when I am busy I am in a hurry to get things done. But on Tuesday I didn't rush anything. I didn't hurry home from lunch with Susan, and I didn't skip the pool to work on a project, like I usually do.

I just enjoyed the moments.

And at the end of the day I realized how precious those moments were, as they definitely brought great . . . joy to my journey.

~~~~~~~~~
And since I haven't blogged for a while, I am also posting these pictures below. While Kristen was still home I had some fun taking pictures of the three younger girls.

I am certainly missing having them all home now. But the good news is I will soon be spending time with my oldest daughter, her husband, and best of all--our grand daughter!! I am pretty sure I will be bringing out the camera a time or two for that. :-)

So Who Am I Now ????

For the past nine consecutive years and three additional years before that, I have been the "Seminary lady". I have personally taught well over 100 students and supervised the seminary program at six buildings in what is now two stakes.


I have seen the Surprise seminary program go from a small group of six students that met in a small room over a garage to a large group of over 20o. And I have seen our stake's seminary program go from two classes at one building to 12 classes in two buildings.


I worked with five high council advisors, numerous teachers and countless students.

And a week ago last Friday, it all came to an end.

I thought my heart would break.

I know the kids will all move on and be fine. And I know the seminary program in our stake is in good hands and will continue to grow and improve.

It just made me so sad to no longer be a part of it. And I couldn't help but wonder . . .

Who am I now??

Seminary truly has been such an important part of my life for so many years, I hardly know who I am without it.

But then something happened last night that made me feel better. I was attending a wedding reception for a young girl in our ward. Her older brother was in my second seminary class and her older sister was in my third. It was fun to see them and how they have progressed since high school.

Then on my way out, I saw Natalie M. Natalie was in my very first seminary class 17 years ago. She was sweet, kind and receptive, and had a strong testimony of the gospel.

About a week after class ended she came to my house and brought me a little bud vase with a single pink rose in it, along with a thank you note. I still have the vase sitting on a shelf in my bedroom and the note tucked safely in my drawer.

As Natalie saw me at the reception and hurried over to give me a hug, it occurred to me that we really never leave our experiences and those we love behind. For those who have touched our lives will always stay in our hearts, and those with whom we associate, influence who we become.

Each student, each teacher, each advisor, has added color to my life, and dimension to my character.

Each is a part of me. Each is a part of who I am and will always be.

And each has brought great . . . joy to my journey.

The Power of One . . .

Last night we hosted an open house for the missionaries in our stake to bring their investigators. In the picture you can see five of the elders that were with us, (three from the states, one from England and one from Haiti) and behind them, a young man who was recently baptized.

The young man was introduced to the church by a friend, who initially invited him to a dance, then to church on Sunday, and then to hear the missionary discussions. As the young man became more interested in the gospel, his grandmother decided that she and the boy's mother needed to find out what he was up to. They did, and the mother was baptized on the same day as her son, while the grandmother is being baptized May 28.

And all because one boy invited his friend to a church dance.

But there is another story I learned last night that touched me even more.

It was the conversion story of the Elder from Haiti.

When he was only 11 years old, and his younger brother 5, their parents both died, leaving the two boys orphans. Since none of their extended family members were able to care for them, they lived on the street for a year before being placed in an orphanage, where he said the only real change in their lives was they had a place to sleep at night.

Then a woman from Salt Lake City, Utah moved to Haiti with her two daughters. They bought a home and invited eight boys from off the streets to live with them. They fed, loved, clothed and educated the boys. And taught them the gospel.

The woman also spent time helping in the orphanages where she met this Elder and his younger brother. A bond quickly developed between them, and she invited the two boys into her home as well.

Not able to adopt all ten, these two boys were adopted by the woman's friend while she adopted the other eight.

It has been six years since then.

All ten boys have since joined the church and this Elder is the seventh to serve a mission. The other three have plans to serve when they are old enough.

I was so touched by that story! As this young man told of the poverty, loneliness and desperation he once faced and then beamed with joy for the happiness he now felt, I was overwhelmed.

Because of the gospel, his entire life has changed, and now he is helping to change the lives of others.

And all of this became available to him because of the generosity, love and Christlike life of one woman.

The power of one.

I guess we should never underestimate our potential to make a difference.

Our Unseen Cheering Section

Two little girls sang in church today. They had beautiful, sweet voices that testified of the Savior and His love for each of us as he suffered in Gethsemane.

It is a song I have loved since I first heard it a couple years ago, and I was touched by the words and their voices.

But what touched me the most, was watching the mother of one of the girls as she sat in the congregation.

Jen sat five rows back from the front, at the end of the row. She was not in a position where the girls would notice her, nor was she where she could help if they forgot the song. Yet there she sat, with a copy of the words and music in her hands, head bowed, and mouthing the words along with them--seemingly willing them along. Jen has nine children, yet at that moment she seemed oblivious to the other eight as she concentrated, singing the words along with her daughter.

The little girls did not see her, but I did. And as I watched her there, the script in her hand, and singing every word with them, it touched me deeply.

I first thought of my own daughters, far away from home. I may not be in a position to help if they stumble or forget what they should do, and they cannot see me, but my thoughts and prayers are always with them. I suffer with them through their hurt feelings and rejoice in their successes.

And then my mind went to heaven, and those who live beyond the veil. I wondered how many mothers, unseen, watch down on children, and mouth the words along with them as they attempt to sing the song of life?

Suddenly I could feel the presence and power of others, watching us, willing us along, holding the "script" in their hands, encouraging us to say and do what we need to do, praying we will remember the words we were taught and always sing in harmony with the Savior.

They are our own unseen cheering section.

It was a nice thought. And one that brought . . . joy to my journey.

Rainstorms, Tears and Living Water

Here in the desert the ground is mostly dry and brown. Particularly in the summer months, the earth lies parched, eagerly waiting to soak up moisture from the occasional rain storm.

And so I usually rejoice when the storms roll in. The water, raining down from heaven, cleanses the air and brings life to the desert below. Unseen seeds, that were patiently lying dormant, suddenly begin to grow.

And what once was brown, in just a few days becomes green.

Everywhere dead shrubbery is replaced by an abundance of fresh new growth.

While watching the desert change over the past few days, I have been thinking a lot about the blessing of storms. What can appear as threatening, can also bring nourishment and growth.

And so it is, I believe, with the storms of life. They may be difficult at times, and may be watered with tears, but those same tears cleanse our souls and awaken within us the seeds of new growth.

I have never been one to pray for trials, or to embrace them, but in reflection I am always grateful for the softening of my heart, the planting of the seeds of faith, and the spiritual and emotional growth life's storms may bring.

John 4: 14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

In defense of our freedom . . . A lesson from the Book of Mormon

This week we are studying the story of the righteous Nephite leader, Captain Moroni, and the wicked Lamanite leader, Zerahemnah, who "stirred up his people to anger” against the Nephites, which resulted in a very bloody war.


I love this story! Not just because Captain Moroni is the star of it, (one of the great heroes of the Book of Mormon and Mormon’s hero, which is why he named his son after him), but because it has such a powerful message for our day.


First—notice what the two sides are fighting for.


The Lamanites:
1. To eliminate the religion of the Nephites
2. To put the Nephites in bondage and exercise power and authority over them by stripping them of their rights.


The Nephites:
1. Their freedoms/rights
2. Their religion
3. Their families


It is easy to see the parallel with our lives today. We too are fighting a spiritual war for our freedoms, our right to worship and the protection of our families. However, it is no longer just a spiritual battle; it has also become a political one as judges and politicians try to destroy the family and strip us of our rights of worship.


With that in mind, it is interesting to see how Captain Moroni fought this battle for freedom and how we might apply what he did to our own lives. (Alma 43)


They made armor and weapons of war.
The Nephites wore breastplates, arm shields, helmets, and thick clothing. They also had many weapons of war. The Lamanites, on the other hand, wore loin cloths. Now, I wouldn’t want to wear a loin cloth anywhere, ever, but especially going into a war. It wouldn’t take much to cause great physical damage if that is all I had protecting me. And realizing their disadvantage, the Lamanites ran when they saw the Nephites coming.


So what does that teach me? Well, that in a war I want to arm myself and my children the best I can. I want to be sure every morning we walk out the door we are wearing our spiritual armor and carrying our swords and shields. I want to be sure we are reading our scriptures, saying our prayers, having family night and keeping our covenants.


But it also teaches me that Satan’s forces are naked in comparison and that a righteous person is more powerful than a wicked one.


They asked the prophet for direction
When the Lamanites ran, Moroni did not know where they went. He could not see the enemy, so he turned to Alma, the prophet at the time, and asked for help. Alma asked the Lord and came back and told Moroni where the enemy was and where he would strike.


Now the lesson from this is an easy one. The prophet knows where Satan is hiding. He knows where he will strike. He knows that pornography, and immorality are the enemy and they are hiding behind the internet, cell phones and early dating. He knows debt can lead to bondage and many laws currently being instituted will lead to the destruction of the family. If we heed his counsel he can help us avoid being attacked. And if we are attacked, he helps us have the tools to fight back.


They fortified their weakest areas.
Any general will want to attack you where you are your weakest, and Satan is no inexperienced general. Why do we have seminary every day, mutual, stake/regional youth dances, church on Sunday? We have them to protect the youth while they are young and inexperienced in fighting evil. What are the weakest areas of our lives? What can we do to fortify them?


They united in faith.
This is part of the story I found the most interesting. The Nephites are far outnumbered by the Lamanites and at one point are about to give up and accept defeat. Moroni rallies his troops by reminding them why they are fighting. The story then says they cried out “in one voice” in prayer to God. At that moment the battle changed. Instead of being on the verge of destruction they pressed forward, armed with courage and faith and in the end they won the battle.


How many battles are easier to fight when we all are united in our defense and call upon the Lord for help? How does being united with the Lord as parents help in our parenting? How does being united with those we serve help in our church calling? We all know that any project you undertake will go much more smoothly if everyone working on the project shares the vision and equally contributes. How much better can we be at fighting evil if we all stand strong together. And how much better even still, if we are on the side of the Lord.


And that reminds me of the theme for the youth this year, “Be Strong and of Good Courage.” This story demonstrates the importance of the theme. We are fighting this battle against evil and only as we bravely stand together, united in purpose, and on God’s side, will we conquer the enemy.


Such wonderful lessons all from one small chapter!


One more reason . . . I love the Book of Mormon!

Ever Feel Lonely?

When I saw this tree I had to jump out of my car and take a picture.

What a poor, little, lonely lemon.

But I realized even though there is only one, the tree still used all of its resources to grow it.

I think there is a lesson in that about the value of an individual.

AND

Yesterday I was a service project.

Yes, A service project--not at a service project

But it wasn't like it sounds.

In December the women in my ward all wrote down a service they were willing to give and then put them in a bowl.

Everyone who offered a service could then also draw a service.

I drew "Take someone to lunch"

So yesterday, the sweet sister made good on her offer and took me to lunch.

And I had a wonderful time.

Thank you so very much Allyson A.!!

AND

I got a call yesterday asking me to speak in church on Sunday.

I haven't given a talk in church for six years.

The topic is teaching.

Kind of broad.

Pray for me. :-)

Lessons for Life

My good friend Frances, sent me an email entitled "Life's Handbook". I thought the suggestions were fun to read, good advice--and a good reminder at the beginning of a new year. I am posting some of them here, along with a few of my own. Enjoy!

1. Remember that when you leave this life, all you can take with you is your knowledge/experiences and your relationships. Make learning, serving, growing and loving others a priority.

2. People are more important than projects.

3. Forgive everyone. It is a waste of energy to carry a grudge.

4. Learn a new skill or read a good book. Everyone feels better about themselves when they are learning and growing.

5. Smile. You never know when just a smile to a stranger will brighten their day. Besides, everyone looks prettier with a smile on their face.

6. Take time each day to count your blessings and express gratitude to God for your life. Just learning to be grateful each day will make you a lot happier.

7. Be kind. You will never regret being too nice to someone. And even if someone chooses to be unkind to you, you can still choose to be kind back.

8. Make time for friends and family. When you are in need, your job or your list of “to-dos” will not be there to take care of you, but your friends and family will. Besides, friends and family members are gifts that should be treasured.

9. The best things in life usually require a sacrifice.

10. Some of our most difficult experiences will in the end provide some of our sweetest memories.

11. What we learn from a trial depends on us. We can learn to grow and turn to the Lord, or we can become bitter and angry. It is totally our choice.

12. You don’t have to win every argument. Sometimes it is best just to agree to disagree.

13. Every day will be a better day if at least part of it is spent in prayer and scripture study.

14. Take time each day to ponder.

15. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

17. Don’t compare your life to others—you really have no idea what their life is about.

18. You will always find time for what is really most important to you.

19. Don’t get so caught up in to-do lists, that you miss out on the best part of life—the sweet quiet moments spent with the people you love.

20. Take time each day to serve. Pray for promptings to help others and then follow the promptings when they come—even if it is inconvenient. If you will help God with His work, He will help you with yours.

21. Having a good sense of humor can get you through a lot of bad situations.

22. Last but not least--live your life with the three E's Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.

So what about you? What lessons have you learned over the course of your lifetime?

A Touch of Sweetness in Deep Sorrow

I had a very sweet experience last Friday night. My husband was asked to visit a woman dying of cancer and I went with him. Although she has been in my ward in the past, I did not know her well. However I know two of her children as her daughter served on the seminary council one year, and her son is a very good friend of my daughter’s.


When we arrived we found her lying in bed, very thin and frail but bright eyed. Her family’s sorrow was quickly evident as during our stay all shed tears. One daughter climbed into the bed next to her mother and sobbed on her shoulder. Another daughter was eager to tell her mother about her new boyfriend who had plans to come to Arizona after Christmas to meet the family, but her voice choked as she realized that might not be soon enough. And yet another daughter stood with a brand new baby who will never remember meeting her grandmother. And there on the floor sat her son. He will be turning in his mission papers soon. The mother asked me how long it will take before he receives his call. It nearly broke my heart to tell her it would be a couple weeks.


Sitting there in the small room, took me back to a Christmas six years ago. Then it was my friend, Meg, who was dying of cancer. It was heartbreaking to watch her slip away little by little each day. And yet, one of my most fond memories is of climbing onto the bed next to her and addressing her Christmas cards, since she was not able to do it herself. Meanwhile, entertaining us was my friend Lisa, who was also on the bed, near the bottom, reading Christmas stories. As the three of us sat there together, sharing stories and giggles, I felt warmth and love flow into the room and wrap around us like a thick soft blanket. And for a few minutes the veil seemed so thin I was sure I could reach out my hand and part it.


Now here I was again, in a room watching someone slip from this life and I yearned for something I could do, some words of comfort I could offer, or a gift I could give. Just then she shifted her position and her feet hung over the side of the bed. So I asked, “Would you like me to rub your feet?” She responded, “Would you like to do that?” I told her I would. So she directed me to some lotion and I removed one of her slippers and began a massage. Her feet were small and thin and dry and the moisture from the lotion was quickly absorbed. But it was my hope that in the midst of her pain, the massage would be pleasant. I do not know if that was the case, but it was all I had to offer. I had nothing else. And although I know it wasn’t much, while sitting there with her foot in my hands I suddenly had come into my mind a picture of the Savior washing the feet of His disciples and I felt in my heart the love He had for them and for all of us. And my heart swelled with love for this dear sister.


It is hard to put in to words my feelings, but for me it was a very sacred experience and one I hope I always remember. I wish the best to this dear sweet sister and her wonderful family. My heart goes out to them at this challenging time. And I will be forever grateful to them that in the midst of their pain and sorrow they allowed me to come into their home for a few minutes, and learn a little more about the Savior and His love for us.


editor's note: I heard at church this morning that the sister passed away late last night.

Flowers Amidst Adversity

My neighbor has been going through a very tough time. Her days have been filled with surgery, tests, medication challenges, more tests, more medication challenges, radiation therapy etc. Yet, just as the challenges were beginning, she planted purple daisies in her vegetable garden, along with her vegetables.

I love purple. And I love the purple daisies.

As I pass from my bedroom to the family room, about a hundred times a day, I always glance out the window at the end of the hall. From that window I can see the daisies.

And each time I see them, they bring joy to my soul.

I have been thinking about that. At a time when my neighbor was struggling, she was also bringing joy to my life. It wasn't intentional, it wasn't planned, it wasn't due to any extra effort on her part. It just happened.

There once was a story in the Ensign about a woman who was working in her yard and singing hymns. She was facing some adversity and chose to sing the hymns as a way to gain strength during her challenges. Unknown to her, her neighbor was also going through some difficult times. As the neighbor walked into her back yard, she heard the singing on the other side of the fence. The melody calmed her soul and the words brought her comfort.

Without even knowing it, the first woman's way of dealing with her trials blessed the life of another.

I think my neighbor is a lot like the lady who sang. During some very dark days she blessed my life by choosing to plant something of great beauty.

The lesson I have learned from her example is this . . . how we deal with the challenges of our life, may have an effect on the lives of others. And even in our darkest days, we can still bring . . . joy to another's journey.

Why I Love the Book of Mormon . . . or How Long Can You Carry A Grudge?

While reading the Book of Mormon a couple weeks ago, I was struck by the length of time the Lamanites could carry a grudge. Four hundred and thirty years after Lehi brought his family to the Promised Land, they were still angry over perceived injustices that occurred during their travels.

In Mosiah 10 we learn the Lamanites believed they were forced to leave Jerusalem due to the evil doings of Lehi, wronged in the wilderness, and wronged again while crossing the sea --all because of the iniquity of Nephi, who also unjustly stole the record of their people when he fled into the wilderness (to preserve his life). From generation to generation they taught their children to hate the Nephites. And so hate was spread from parent to child year after year, decade after decade, resulting in death and sorrow for many people.

My first thought was, "Wow! I am pretty sure I have no idea who offended any of my ancestors over 400 years ago. " I was amazed a legacy of hate could have been preserved for so many generations. But then of course, I was reminded of the problems in the middle east today as well as in other parts of the world and realized I was being a bit naive.

But what I also realized was the impact our teachings can have on our children for generations. We can teach them to hate and distrust, or we can teach love, faith and compassion. We can teach selfishness or we can teach service and charity.

My parents are great examples of teaching good qualities. My father is the most obedient and hard working person I know, and he has diligently tried to instill those qualities in his children. I remember well one Saturday morning when I was twelve and it was our stake's turn to pick cherries at the stake welfare farm. Sleeping late sounded so much better to me than getting up at 5:30 to work in an orchard. So when my father came to get me, I told him I couldn't find my shoes and therefore could not go. He suggested I wear another pair. So I told him directly, I did not want to go.

I will always remember his very unsympathetic response. He said, "Sometimes in life we have to do things we don't want to do, but we do them anyway because it is the right thing to do." That seems like such a simple and basic comment, but it and his example, have stayed with me and been the impetus behind my completing some very unsavory tasks.

I also appreciate the example of selfless service set by my mother. She has a very tender and kind heart and often reaches out to the poor and needy. While visiting my parents in Guatemala a few years ago, we were leaving to go on a sight seeing journey when I noticed my mother filling her purse with food and coins. And then as we traveled across town, she would give the food and money to the little beggar children holding out their hands at the stop lights.

So my thought these past few weeks is this, "What kind of legacy am I leaving my children?" Is it one of anger, hostility and selfishness? Or is it love, kindness and service? Am I teaching them to hold a grudge against those who might offend them, or does my example teach forgiveness?

I am sorry to say, I realized I need to do a lot better. But, that is one reason why I love the Book of Mormon . . . it helps me to see where I need to improve and improvement always brings . . . joy to my journey.