Women's Conference . . . so much good stuff!

I really enjoyed going to Women’s Conference this past week. It was fun to see my sisters, listen to the speakers, meet new people and learn from the talks.


I had a special treat on Friday when I met Kristin Klein from Alpine Klein Bunch for lunch. After reading her blog for over a year, enjoying her insights and admiring her beautiful photography, it was so much fun to meet her in person. Thanks Kristin for a wonderful time!!


I will write more about my sister’s presentation another time, but right now I want to comment on a few highlights for me from other talks.


I loved the talk given in the general session Thursday night. Sister Forste spoke about how we as women are frequently hard on ourselves, and never feel we are good enough, smart enough, thin enough, etc. In contrast, studies have shown that men are more content with who and where they are.



A study was cited where men and women were given a survey of 31 questions where they were asked to rank their level of performance in such areas as church attendance, scripture reading, etc. Although men ranked themselves lower than women in 26 of the 31 categories, when asked “If you were to die today, which kingdom of glory do you think you would inherit?”, most men said, “Celestial” while most women said one of the lower kingdoms.


I found that more amusing than anything else. And although we were encouraged to see ourselves in a more positive light, it struck me that Women’s Conference itself exists because women always want to do better. When I later asked some men if they would ever attend a “Men’s Conference” their response was, “No! Why would we want to go to another meeting?”


Another talk I enjoyed was by Sister Savage. She talked about building unity in marriage by keeping our baptismal covenant. I loved that. It is interesting to me that although we enter into the baptismal covenant individually, we renew the covenant each week as a group when we partake of the sacrament. That alone helps us to build unity with those in our families and church congregations.


But in applying the covenant specifically to marriage she made three main points.


1. When we covenant to “take His name upon us” we are covenanting to act as Christ acts. To do as He would do. If we remember that in our marriage relationship we will always be kinder, more loving, and more patient with our spouse.


2. When we covenant to “Always remember Him” we are covenanting to remember and apply His atonement in our lives. This means we are willing to sacrifice our will for the good of others. It means we are willing to forgive and to seek forgiveness.


3. When we covenant to “Keep His commandments” we are covenanting to always put the Lord first in our lives. And when we both put the Lord first, everything else becomes easier. We won’t have to argue over who is right, because we will always be trying to do what is right—according to the will of the Lord.


Another talk I LOVED was by Sister Elizabeth Ricks. She spoke on standing for truth and decrying evil. She told a story of a time when Sister Elaine Dalton, general young women’s president, was asked to address a gathering of 900 priesthood leaders. As sister Dalton walked into the room, all 900 men stood out of respect. Sister Dalton later commented that they were not standing for her, they were standing for womanhood.


I loved that. I wish we could always show that same degree of respect for womanhood and manhood, motherhood and fatherhood.


Sister Ricks went on to say that we can “stand” for righteousness in different ways. She told of Queen Esther who saved her people, Mary Elizabeth Rollins who rescued the pages of the newly printed “Book of Commandments” when scattered by a mob, a ten year old girl from Yemen named Nyrood, who stood against spousal abuse, Issac, Abraham’s son who was willing to be a sacrifice, and Joseph Smith, who was killed.


She then said, “Esther stood by kneeling, Mary Elizabeth stood by hiding, Nyrood stood by escaping, Isaac by lying and Joseph Smith by dying.


I thought that was beautiful and it left me with a greater desire to always stand for truth and righteousness in everything I do.

Today's Mormon Woman . . . or . . . Please Don't Call Me Leonore

I met Leonore when I was a newlywed and living in Mexico City. Leonore was perfect. Or at least it seemed that way. Whenever we had a lesson in relief society she was always asked to tell how she did whatever principle we were learning about. If we were being taught about scripture study, Leonore was asked by the teacher to tell us how she did hers. If the lesson were on exercising, Leonore was asked to tell us how she got up and went running every morning. When the lesson was on nutrition, Leonore told us how she ate perfectly balanced meals every day. No matter what the topic, Leonore could tell us how to do it.

And although she was very nice, she also thoroughly, completely and totally intimidated me, because I felt thoroughly, completely and totally imperfect in comparison. Every insecurity I had about being a Mormon woman, every weakness and failure I possessed, were magnified when I was near her.

I grew up on the Wasatch Front in the days when young women were expected to sew, garden and know how to bottle fruit before they left home at 18. And although my mother is an amazing gardener, seamstress and can bottle anything, I never learned the necessities of Mormon womanhood. (I did take home economics in junior high but got a D when I didn’t put my pattern properly on the material and my shirt came out with little people sideways on it. )

And I felt guilty about it, so much so, that I enrolled in sewing classes as an adult. And I learned—to a degree. I learned to make Halloween costumes, some curtains and a few outfits for my three-year-old. (No one older than three would wear what I made). I also learned how to bottle fruit and even meat. For many years I tried my best to become what I thought the perfect Mormon woman should be.

I wanted to be Leonore.

Then I read a talk by Patricia Holland where she said she didn’t like to sew. She learned (because she too felt it was expected) but did not like it. That was a turning point in my life. For the first time, I felt free to admit I did not like sewing. After all, if Patricia Holland, the wife of an apostle didn’t like it, it wasn’t necessary for me to like it either.

Since then I have also come to realize that what makes the perfect Mormon woman has nothing to do with her talents and abilities, or her likes and dislikes. What is important however, is how she values and keeps her covenants. But even then, we are all on different places on the road to perfection. In our day of economic trials, knowing how to sew, bottle fruit and garden are all good things, and they along with all other good talents and skills should be cultivated. But they do not define Mormon womanhood.

One Sunday, while sitting in Relief Society, I glanced around the room. There were several single sisters who have been married and suffered through divorces, others have never been married. There was a sister battling cancer, others struggling with wayward children. Some were converts to the church, others born into families with pioneer ancestry. Some battle depression, some work full time, some stay at home. Some possessed the wisdom of age, and others were too young to realize they didn’t know everything. We had a Hispanic sister, a black sister and a sister from Finland. Each was very different. And each in some way had blessed my life.

And as we raised our voices together in song, I felt the spirit wash over me, and with it came a deep sense of love and appreciation for each sister in the room. I was so grateful the gospel tent has expanded to include every woman, from every background, from every country, with every weakness and with every talent. For just as our voices united in song, so did our hearts unite in love one for another and for the Savior. We had come together that day to honor our covenants. We had partaken of the sacrament and we were all trying to do our best to keep that covenant, and we were helping each other along the way.

We are different, but we are the same. And together we define the Mormon Woman.