Each January I decide this is the year I am going to be perfect. Seriously. After all, it is a commandment, so it has to be possible, right? So on January 2 (I sleep in on January 1st, which isn’t my definition of perfection so I wait until the 2nd to start) I am up early, read my scriptures, say my prayers, clean my house, cook delicious, well balanced—and of course low calorie--meals, write in my journal, perform compassionate service, exercise, give my husband and children individual positive attention, improve my mind with a good book, fulfill my church calling, work on developing a new talent, look for someone to give a pass-a-long card to, make my visiting teaching appointments, and crash exhausted into bed, only to get up the next morning and do it all over again. By January 5th, I am too tired to get out of bed and can be found lying in a fetal position munching Dove chocolates and gnawing red licorice.
So . . . this year, I am going to do something different. I am only having one goal.
I am going to weed my garden.
Yep. That is it. I love weeding (although obviously I don’t do it often enough) because it feels so wonderfully therapeutic. You remove all those nasty little weeds that grow larger by the minute and free up the space and nutrients for good things to grow.
And that is what I feel my life needs right now; a good weeding. I am not even going to worry about planting anything. I can do that next year. This year I am just going to get rid of the weeds.
So what that means is this:
1. I am going to remove all the physical clutter from my environment. In other words I am going to clean out closets, kitchen cupboards, file drawers etc.
2. I am going to eliminate those nasty little bad health habits I once thought I had conquered but for some reason (I am blaming it on a great deal of stress these past few months) they have returned.
3. I am going to find a way to let go of the experiences in my past that I cling to, even though they now mostly just bring me pain.
The first weeding will be the easiest. I can see the clutter in my environment and I will be able to see when it is gone. (The garbage can will become my new best friend.) My personal physical weeding will be a bit more difficult, but I have some good friends to help me. My emotional weeding is the one I fear. I do not at all know how to do that one. A great deal of prayer, I suppose. But after several years, and a lot of time and energy, I am ready to move on, and move forward with my life . . . once, of course, I get those darn weeds out.
So that is it. I am sorry to say, I won’t reach perfection this year. Not even for a day. But I am determined to be resolute, in my one resolution . . . Especially now that I have made it public and will suffer extreme personal humiliation if I fail. (I have learned the threat of public humiliation is a great motivator) So . . . here is a New Year’s toast to weeding and . . . the joy it will hopefully bring to my journey.