Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The closing of a door, the end of an era . . .

I thought I would be fine, but I am not.

For twelve out of the past sixteen years—the last nine consecutive—I have been involved in the seminary program in our stake. And this is my last year—at least for now.

I was sad when I realized I would not be teaching next year, but I have also put a lot of things on hold in my life that I began to look forward to doing. But this morning I attended a testimony meeting for all the seminary youth in our building. It was sweet and tender and the spirit was in abundance.

And I knew every student there.

I know many of their older brothers and sisters as well. I have watched them all grow from little shy, timid freshmen to tall, strong and confident seniors.

And as I listened to their testimonies, tears welled up in my eyes, tightness began to constrict around my heart and a dull pain settled in.

I love these kids. I love them deeply, dearly, completely. Seminary has been my all consuming passion, my love, and my life. I am not quite sure how I am going to live without it.

I have had a very teary morning.

16 comments:

KC Mom said...

It is the most wonderful and yet difficult calling in the church. I loved it. And now that I've had a year off...I realized I needed it. I hope someday I can go back. But it's nice to have my time too.

MissKris said...

I am sorry you are feeling sad. They're all going to miss you too. You're such an amazing teacher!

Lisa said...

How wonderful to be able to watch testimonies grow. What will you do with your time now besides sleep in?

Sue said...

That's what happened to me when I got released from being YW president. I was relieved in a way, because it had been almost five years, and I needed to focus on other things in my life at that time. But on the day I left that YW room and went to Relief Society, I felt the mourning begin. And it took about a month till I felt completely past it.

Working with the youth is just so rewarding....in any capacity. I've always loved it. (But you are also going to love sleeping in that little bit longer, too!)

=)

NatureGirl said...

Change is totally lame! But what a legacy you are leaving behind...

For now.

Rebecca Irvine said...

A bitter sweet few weeks ahead of you, it sounds like. Hard to move on, and yet the Lord has blessings ahead waiting for you.

Suzanne said...

For every door closed, a window is opened!

I am not sure where that quote comes from, but when the seasons of change come my way, I think of that statement often.

It sounds that the mission you needed to fulfill with this group of youth is coming to an end. Well done my sweet friend! Well done! Lives have been changed because of you and I am sure our Father in Heaven is so grateful for your time and sacrifice.

Now, a new chapter of your life must soon begin. It seems you are ready for a new way of progression. Be glad for the new lesson and grasp your sense of adventure. You never know what is in store for you just around the corner!

I send you my love and hugs! -Suzanne

Handsfullmom said...

Those Seminary students (and all their older siblings!) are certainly lucky to have had you for a teacher.

Shannon said...

What an awesome experience you and those youth have had. I don't like change, but that's where the growth is. I wonder what wonderful blessings are around the corner. Enjoy your last month!

rad6 said...

oh oh oh.... I would have come and held your hand had I known. Holy cow... how do you not teach? And I want to hear more about testimony meeting. you are not done with your year yet right???
i just found you... you cant stop now.
Funny to come home and read this, because I had one of those mornings where you just feel like you dont want to do it anymore... or you aren't getting anywhere. Most mornings are not like that, but this morning was. Weird.
I am counting my blessings that I will still be teaching.
hang in there...
Ruth

Small House said...

I understand why you feel a little gloomy about leaving seminary. Nothing is better than teaching the youth. I'm certain they'll miss you to!!!!!!

jaradoron said...

I really enjoy reading from someone with some good life experience. I think it is a service to post nice blog posts that are sincere and come from a good heart. There are so many strange Mormon blogs out there, thanks for being good and normal and letting your light shine!!

Da Bergs said...

THAT is a hard job... and a hard job to give up!!! I am so sure you are very very loved!

Cherie said...

There is just something special about Seminary.
I have never taught but my sister-in-law does (she is RAD6 below on your comments - funny I didn't even know she followed this blog!) and I know how much she LOVES it.

My kids have always loved it and I even remember it being my favorite time of the day when I was in High School. One thing I know is you never forget your great teachers - the ones who help you form your testimony and strengthen it.

I am sure as a teacher you just feel that special spirit all the time. I bet your kids are all going to miss you like crazy!

GeraldF_Rotter雅慧 said...

如果擬任為輸贏是最重要的事,那你輸了..............................

Jenny-Jenny said...

I have no doubt that you have a spot in each of their hearts as well. They will always remember you and hold you near and dear.